To celebrate Presidents Day, lots of sites like to do roundups of movie presidents, whether fictional or based on real people. Still others like to rank movies based on U.S. presidents. Not us. Here at Atom, we ask the important questions. Questions like: Which fictional movie president would win in a fight? We’ve hand-picked a few presidents from movies and pitted them against each other. Here’s who’s most likely to win in a fight against the other presidents on the list, ranked from least likely to most likely.
7. President James Dale – Mars Attacks!
Actor: Jack Nicholson
Mars Attacks! was one of Tim Burton’s weirder, more underrated adventures, and Jack Nicholson’s President James Dale couldn’t even survive the movie, let alone the real world. President Dale was so naive and certain that the aliens were kind that he clung to his romanticized belief that their extraterrestrial visitors were there to help rather than harm. It wasn’t until they killed the First Lady that he finally woke up to the danger he and his country was in, but it was too late. The aliens killed him during a touching, if dimwitted speech about giving peace and love a chance. The Martians gave him a chance alright – a chance to live about another two seconds before stabbing him to death. Ultimately, President Dale was so naive and soft that it was sort of a wonder he’d survived to that point at all.
6. President Merkin Muffley – Dr. Strangelove
Peter Sellers
Peter Sellers’ President Merkin Muffley isn’t nearly as naive as President Dale. He recognizes the threat from the Soviet Union and he tries to do something about it. In fact, throughout Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove, he tries to be the voice of reason. Still, the President must be commanding and competent, and Muffley is anything but. He’s a good man, but a timid one, and completely ineffective at getting anyone to take him seriously, hence his infamous line, “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” He lands one space above President Dale, however, because at least he wasn’t willfully blind to the threat they faced – even if he couldn’t do a single meaningful thing to stop it.
5. U.S. President – Love, Actually
Billy Bob Thornton
Billy Bob Thornton’s unnamed U.S. President in Richard Curtis’ Love, Actually isn’t a huge role, but he is a memorable one thanks to his ick factor. When he’s in the UK visiting Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister, David, the U.S. President makes some salacious comments about the Prime Minister’s assistant. Later, it’s made clear he’s groped or sexually assaulted her in some way off-camera. His actions show he’s a coward and a bully, picking on the weak when other, stronger people aren’t around. In a fight with the other presidents on this list, he’d lose to most.
4. President Jane Orlean – Don’t Look Up
Meryl Streep
President Orlean isn’t the best or the worst fictional American President ever put on screen. Meryl Streep’s Don’t Look Up character is simply the embodiment of every overly ambitious political figure who puts themselves and their own ambition above everyone else. As a person and a leader, she’s pretty terrible. Still, she survives by shrewd cunning, always looking to capitalize on an opportunity, even if that “opportunity” is the entire planet being wiped out by an asteroid. In the end, she’s eaten by an alien after she escapes planet Earth, but no other President on this list would have escaped that fate, either. In a Hunger Games-style deathmatch or even a one-on-one fight, Orlean would certainly find a way to survive through unscrupulous means.
3. President James Sawyer – White House Down
Jamie Foxx
At first glance, Jamie Foxx’s President James Sawyer in Roland Emmerich’s White House Down seems like he’d be a practice dummy for most of the other presidents on this list. He’s a bit soft and idealistic. Still, when the proverbial ish hits the fan, President Sawyer jumps into action to protect the White House. He could have hidden and stayed safe, but he chose to rise to the occasion. Even though he’s blind as a bat without his glasses, the events of the movie find the best version of Sawyer emerging; when danger is all around him, Sawyer toughens up and holds his own. His inner strength and survival skills rank him higher than most.
2. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho – Idiocracy
Terry Crews
Is Terry Crews’ President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho mostly an idiot in Mike Judge’s Idiocracy? Yes. Does he have absolutely no idea what he’s doing as president? At all? Also yes. However, is he still Terry Crews? Triple yes. And I think we can all agree that Terry Crews, especially portraying a former pro wrestler wielding machine guns, would take down every other U.S. President on this list with ease, save one. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho doesn’t have a single working brain cell, but he has a lot of muscles and guns, and that’s enough to get him to second place in our fighter ranking.
1. President Thomas J. Whitmore – Independence Day
Bill Pullman
Of course, no other President could top this list than President Thomas J. Whitmore from Independence Day. Pound for pound, Whitmore is the toughest and savviest leader on this list. He’s also arguably the most selfless. When people think of President Whitmore in Independence Day, they immediately think of his iconic speech. But it’s the fact he was willing to step back into the role of fighter pilot once again and lead his own fleet rather than staying in the safety of the bunker, even being willing to sacrifice his own life, that puts him at the top of the list. The other Presidents on this list talk tough – well, most of them; President Whitmore actually is tough, both in mind and spirit. When you successfully help take down an alien invasion, no one’s beating you.